Hey Bartender

S/W: COLOR TOUCH & PICSART

"Hey Bartender". I was just listening to this song. Yep, i relate to this. However, not to the solution.

Breakup, divorce, separation and parting with any person, place or thing and the pain that follows. Even for the strongest one, the memories are difficult to erase. Then there are many self help and counselling and tips to follow to forget the past.

1. Eat out the pain
2. Travel
3. Party
4. Shop till you drop
5. Drink
6. Socialise
7. Date and get into another relationship
8. Get really busy and occupied at work
9. Down the sound from your head and heart in music movies
10. Work out till your exhausted and fall asleep

Hmmm...

However at the end of this, having tried and finished the motions, once again one is confronted with the ghosts from the past. You have neither forgiven nor forgotten. So, when you think you have moved on, those rankling thoughts, niggling feeling of, was I wrong, relentless memories, people around you in successful relations, bring back the memories. Photos, they remind you of the pain. Aah no, we haven't gotten over it. Nope, not yet.

Your friends show you photos. Your exes latest happy relationship and gossips reaching you, by caring friends do not help at all. Steal you off your sleep and peace of mind.

The glory of bailing out of a nasty relation gets over making way for pain. The exhilarating experience of freedom, also gets over. The past pops in. Particularly, when you had invested your body mind and soul in it. It hurts! You rock between self respect and self deprecation. Though you shouldn't. Many questions haunt you. Whether to forgive or not to forgive.

What is cathartic, is living with exactly what one is going through and how shitty one is feeling. Facing the experience and becoming an observer to it.

Denial i.e. denying that one is hurting or one feels like taking revenge or pretending to be a forgiving soul, does not work. Being "correct" and a "hero", is not it.
It makes a bad experience, a nightmare; which becomes louder to a paranoic extent.
So, Denial is not the key to get over a depressing period of life.

How, then does one deal with it?
If denial i.e. saying no, is not it, then should we be saying yes and be able to accept?

Acceptance! Yes, kind of.
However... Truthfully... even acceptance does not help a great deal. Of course, it works better than denial. Much better actually.
The negative feeling's still there, whenever there are triggers to spark off the pain. They set it aflame.

How can I say this? Am I an intellectual or a shrink or a pseudo empath or some such thing?

None of above, I am just speaking my heart and sharing this, as  am working things out for myself. Self help literally. Following my heart.

Like just now, expressing my thoughts and feelings, is helping me. No forgiving, No forgetting. Not even dealing with the pain. I am just expressing unbridled. Saying it as I feel. You may want to paint, draw, build, cook, construct, sew, weave, knit, garden, write poems, make music, bond with yourself... Basically engage yourself emotionally, mentally, intellectually, physically and spiritually in a manner that you are truly immersed in that experience. Fully invested. Dwelling on the experience one is going through. SPEND! EXPRESS! Not money... Spend what you have inside. A lot that you have been holding onto. Get spent. Become a pauper.

Meditate! Construct your thoughts and emotions and..... Deconstruct them. Dismantle them. Demolish them. Burn them down. Construct again. Keep doing this, till you have constructed a New You. Fresh you. New outlook, New zest. New approach. Light, radiant and free! The real you, that you really are. Better still, envisage a you, that you wished to accomplish! 😃

Living an experience takes courage. Facing the reality squarely, is a powerful therapeutic experience. It takes an even temperament, an awakened consciousness, to get a grip over the passions and thoughts.

Be an Observer. It takes disconnecting and distancing from the mental and emotional stories. They tie us to our experiences. Lending interpretations and drama to an event.
Deconstructing takes dispassion, an objective, stable and balanced action.
Creation involves clarity, vision and strength of spirit. Using ones divine potential.
Doing this on mental, psychic plane is even more powerful.

Go, learn the techniques from the masters! Become a master of your mind, heart and spirit. Just as i keep practicing what i am learning.

This is my meditation in action. This is my cleansing practices for mind and heart.

Focus on the real. No fantasy. No accepting, denial, forgive, forget... and all. Just face it simply. Like a Seer of one's own thoughts. A drashta. Let the drama unfold and then the curtain falls when drama has been played out.

We are our own story tellers. We script it, direct it, act it, edit it. Set the music, the poems, sounds, interludes, preludes, crescendo and finalize it.

Each of us has stories. We need to write ours and write it well. We do our job with as much love and truth as possible. We create our life, we write our story. Hey, no need to peek into, grab from or worry about another's. That's another reason for anxiety and difficulty in letting go. We want to, yet control or copy, other's stories. Let's take charge of our own story fully and wholeheartedly and leave the others to theirs ✌

Involve in positive practices continuously healing yourself mentally and emotionally. Through service and noble social activities that are uplifting and beneficial to another being. A small one that you can do is good. Spread joy, compassion and smile.

Live your own dreams fully, truthfully and beautifully.

BLOSSOM YOUR TRUTH !