Knitting a beautiful shawl

My Mother in law, from whom i learnt a lot,  was a very talented and remarkable person. Of the many talents she had, she was skilled at knitting. When she wanted to correct a part,  on a line done early, she knew how to do it, without opening out the work to reach that line. She corrected it by going to that spot and doing some skilled un-knitting through the threads and correcting it. I thought that was amazing. The work was neat,  clean and without any trace of error. I was impressed. My own mother was very skilled, but i never got to learn from her, as she passed away, when i was little. Anyways i didn't learn this trick from my mother in law either.

Today when i think about it, in the spiritual context, i think of the life that we knit and the errors that sometimes bother us and we wish we could magically iron out. I have this thought,  that we need to change our attitude towards our past. That magic is in our thoughts. When we make it positive and understand that, it was all good, useful and made us the beautiful being that we are,  bingo, that apparently wrong bit vanishes. Everything is neat, nice and perfect. Actually the imperfection just blends in so beautifully with the rest of the pattern, that it no longer bothers you.

That magic of knitting is our thoughts, our attitude, our beliefs.

Every now and then, when we feel sad or dejected about the past, the correction required is in the quality of that memory. The event just blends in seamlessly making a beautiful pattern.  Adjust your reactions to that memory, and continue knitting that beautiful shawl of life you are weaving.

Image courtesy: www.faberie.com And Winding Road Crochet

A Spiritual Blaze of Glory

A Spiritual Blaze of Glory

Be Strong, Make Strong!

Be Positive and Glorious, be famous, be popular, be loved, be kind and confident, be "liked" and disliked" also and filled to the crown with self esteem and joy. After all, we have been gifted this, generously and without reservation, then why should you hold back your glory!!!! Use the setbacks as springboards to launch yourself. Life is a resource.

Be Negative, but don't stay negative. Try to explore the negativity to identify your weakness and develop a strengths to overcome them. 

Don't stay grounded. Don't only fly. Do both as and when.

Don't be strong.  Don't be weak. Stay balanced. You will need both to see you through in a more complete way.

Dont be ashamed of your beauty, your body, your self or how your life is. You are just as you should be. Your life and all the events are perfect and just the way it is meant to be. Nothing good or bad. They are for you to launch yourself.

Don't be arrogant, it robs you off  your beauty. Harshness is a pain inside of you. Deal with it. You don't need to hurt/insult/injure another to get even with life. Bitterness will bring on disease, sooner or later. 

Don't be apologetic.  Be an unabashed version of yourself with gratitude in your heart.

Dont worry about labels. Good or bad. Just stay focused on your goals. 

The entire purpose of being spiritual, is to render your resplendent individual personality fully and totally.

Accolades and Criticisms are excess baggages.

Dont even acknowledge/receive them. _/\_ and move on.

Stay Happy,  Stay Compassion,  Stay Steady, Stay Love.

My Ma, My Love

My Love, My MA

This was meant to be a mums day post, May 12th, 2019.

Guess i will give it a bit,  so that it turns out good..

Ma,  such an intelligent, sensitive and wise soul. I am so blessed and proud that you are my mother.

It may not be wrong to say,  i am obsessed with you in a devoted way. I see only goodness in you. Even when you annoy me with your craziness at times,  i see through to your hungry heart and just feel like holding you till you sleep like a baby.

You are so talented,  beautiful voice,  intelligent thoughts and a fine vocab. I know you have a great sense of humor too.

We would have been a class act together. Guess the world needed to be spared of that. You sing so well. What a divine sweetness in your voice.

You are so beautiful.

If i were a kangaroo,  i would have taken you Mom,  and put you right back into my pouch and bounded away.

Hey Bartender

S/W: COLOR TOUCH & PICSART

"Hey Bartender". I was just listening to this song. Yep, i relate to this. However, not to the solution.

Breakup, divorce, separation and parting with any person, place or thing and the pain that follows. Even for the strongest one, the memories are difficult to erase. Then there are many self help and counselling and tips to follow to forget the past.

1. Eat out the pain
2. Travel
3. Party
4. Shop till you drop
5. Drink
6. Socialise
7. Date and get into another relationship
8. Get really busy and occupied at work
9. Down the sound from your head and heart in music movies
10. Work out till your exhausted and fall asleep

Hmmm...

However at the end of this, having tried and finished the motions, once again one is confronted with the ghosts from the past. You have neither forgiven nor forgotten. So, when you think you have moved on, those rankling thoughts, niggling feeling of, was I wrong, relentless memories, people around you in successful relations, bring back the memories. Photos, they remind you of the pain. Aah no, we haven't gotten over it. Nope, not yet.

Your friends show you photos. Your exes latest happy relationship and gossips reaching you, by caring friends do not help at all. Steal you off your sleep and peace of mind.

The glory of bailing out of a nasty relation gets over making way for pain. The exhilarating experience of freedom, also gets over. The past pops in. Particularly, when you had invested your body mind and soul in it. It hurts! You rock between self respect and self deprecation. Though you shouldn't. Many questions haunt you. Whether to forgive or not to forgive.

What is cathartic, is living with exactly what one is going through and how shitty one is feeling. Facing the experience and becoming an observer to it.

Denial i.e. denying that one is hurting or one feels like taking revenge or pretending to be a forgiving soul, does not work. Being "correct" and a "hero", is not it.
It makes a bad experience, a nightmare; which becomes louder to a paranoic extent.
So, Denial is not the key to get over a depressing period of life.

How, then does one deal with it?
If denial i.e. saying no, is not it, then should we be saying yes and be able to accept?

Acceptance! Yes, kind of.
However... Truthfully... even acceptance does not help a great deal. Of course, it works better than denial. Much better actually.
The negative feeling's still there, whenever there are triggers to spark off the pain. They set it aflame.

How can I say this? Am I an intellectual or a shrink or a pseudo empath or some such thing?

None of above, I am just speaking my heart and sharing this, as  am working things out for myself. Self help literally. Following my heart.

Like just now, expressing my thoughts and feelings, is helping me. No forgiving, No forgetting. Not even dealing with the pain. I am just expressing unbridled. Saying it as I feel. You may want to paint, draw, build, cook, construct, sew, weave, knit, garden, write poems, make music, bond with yourself... Basically engage yourself emotionally, mentally, intellectually, physically and spiritually in a manner that you are truly immersed in that experience. Fully invested. Dwelling on the experience one is going through. SPEND! EXPRESS! Not money... Spend what you have inside. A lot that you have been holding onto. Get spent. Become a pauper.

Meditate! Construct your thoughts and emotions and..... Deconstruct them. Dismantle them. Demolish them. Burn them down. Construct again. Keep doing this, till you have constructed a New You. Fresh you. New outlook, New zest. New approach. Light, radiant and free! The real you, that you really are. Better still, envisage a you, that you wished to accomplish! 😃

Living an experience takes courage. Facing the reality squarely, is a powerful therapeutic experience. It takes an even temperament, an awakened consciousness, to get a grip over the passions and thoughts.

Be an Observer. It takes disconnecting and distancing from the mental and emotional stories. They tie us to our experiences. Lending interpretations and drama to an event.
Deconstructing takes dispassion, an objective, stable and balanced action.
Creation involves clarity, vision and strength of spirit. Using ones divine potential.
Doing this on mental, psychic plane is even more powerful.

Go, learn the techniques from the masters! Become a master of your mind, heart and spirit. Just as i keep practicing what i am learning.

This is my meditation in action. This is my cleansing practices for mind and heart.

Focus on the real. No fantasy. No accepting, denial, forgive, forget... and all. Just face it simply. Like a Seer of one's own thoughts. A drashta. Let the drama unfold and then the curtain falls when drama has been played out.

We are our own story tellers. We script it, direct it, act it, edit it. Set the music, the poems, sounds, interludes, preludes, crescendo and finalize it.

Each of us has stories. We need to write ours and write it well. We do our job with as much love and truth as possible. We create our life, we write our story. Hey, no need to peek into, grab from or worry about another's. That's another reason for anxiety and difficulty in letting go. We want to, yet control or copy, other's stories. Let's take charge of our own story fully and wholeheartedly and leave the others to theirs ✌

Involve in positive practices continuously healing yourself mentally and emotionally. Through service and noble social activities that are uplifting and beneficial to another being. A small one that you can do is good. Spread joy, compassion and smile.

Live your own dreams fully, truthfully and beautifully.

BLOSSOM YOUR TRUTH !

Intuitions Instincts

Was just listening to Alanis'thank you...  And my thought's
How about living life,  trusting your intuition
How about following my deepest instinct
How about listening to my heart
How about living a life of beauty and peace

Thank you my friends, lovers,  family and soul buds... 
We are together this life, because our souls need each other.
To help us evolve into awakened beings.

You make way for me to grow and get even more deeply connected with my LQ.
The inner voice, the sound from our soul.
That part of our being which is unabashedly and without bias just protecting the plain pure truth. It is an aspect of our being which is there to guide us,  protect us,

29 Jan 2019

26 years to this day...  Such a mixed feeling...
Aftermath of riots in Mumbai,  getting married and totally unsure of where i was headed.  Yet i decided to brave it,  get on with it.  Finish the obligation to family and society. Not a great way to get into such a commitment and it didn't last, i was really not ready for it.
However he was a very dear friend. Whatever karma that was, i learned a lot from it.  A wonderful family i got to live in.

And now.... though the marriage got over long back, I wasn't prepared for this one.  Last year ended leaving me wondering about our mortality. He passed away. No one knows when who will go, without even bidding adieu,  so hold no grudges.  I am glad we didn't. I Love You.
Go in peace good friend. I thank you.
Happy 26th!

My Soul Mother

Today is 16th Jan 2019
Contentment is....
At 50, when Ma feeds me with her own hands,  i feel there is nothing left to ask for anymore.
It it's difficult to express a relation between two people,  a generation apart and in love and missing each other. I have dreams of us doing things together. It is unfortunate that we have so much to share and talk about. Not just gossip,  but that to 😄
Yet we are circumstantially challenged. I don't really ask for this,  but in her case and my father's i do. To be born again and in a more positive environment, where we are together and able to share all that we could not in this life. Books,  music, songs, stories, colors, clothes, food and so much more.
My mother did not give birth to me. However i am so glad she is my one and only Ma. We are soul connects from many lives i feel.
On this day off sankranti,  her feeding me with her hands was the ultimate blessing. I cannot live without her and yet i do. Somehow i manage. She is a most beautiful and intelligent soul. My prayers always that she be healthy and strong.
Ma,  I love you.