Education – A Transcendental State

The education that we all need is very simple and basic. That should take us happily through life to the end of our days, without going to any institution. They are learnt and understood in the little moments of our life, when the mind and heart is free. Flashes of wisdom, insight and such. It may not occur to one, but it may to another, and yet it stands true for all. Like the joy of loving, caring, sharing – they can be transmitted to others.

Education is spontaneous, when you are open to it. It is not taught or learnt. It is a plain connect with the life force. And while it empowers one, it endows them with power to evoke the spirit of education in another. One can make efforts to create a culture in which it can flourish and take root effortlessly.

It is not academic, there is no percentile, pass or fail. No certificates or degrees.  No title.  We are all educating as long as we are connected with that space.

An educated person will love, share, be kind, greet, forgive, move on, have gratitude, respect, smile, laugh, open out, welcome, be generous, be inquisitive, curious, look at the sun, stars, birds, mud, leaves and is humble. They Imagine, Dream and Visualize. They have a childlike view and are very perceptive to the mysteries and wonders of the universe. The universe is in communication with them. All one needs to do is, tune in.

Education and Academics are not the same.

Education does not distinguish anything as right or wrong, good or bad. An educated being has a vast perception of a situation. Somewhat Zen like. Nothing is fixed.

Education makes one flexible and adaptable. An in-the-moment sensibility and sensitivity.

An educated one knows nothing. An educated one is not conditioned. Education is not fixity. Education remembers nothing. It is all in the very moment, complete presence. Education has no history.

Education knows no boundaries. It is a seamless state of being. Being educative is an attitude one can foster and develop.

The academics follow a rule dogmatically, till the rule outdoes itself and a new rule brought into existence, with a name, parameter and conditions. There are inventions and discoveries. There are explorations and adventures. There are definitions, qualities and formulae to adhere to.

Education has but one rule or parameter. It is simply an awakening or refining of the awareness. Nothing to invent or discover. There is realization and manifestation. If we could ask them, neither Kekule nor Newton nor Archimedes would be able to describe their moments of realization. It is very difficult to encapsulate that realization in a formula. Yet they tried to package it for others to use. But if you could ask them, what they had seen or experienced, it would have, possibly been, way beyond what was put on paper.  It is a humbling experience.

Educational "process" creates an environment where a person can connect with their own potentials and creativity. Their purpose and intent of life. In such an environment one is free to explore, develop and strengthen their personality to be free and expressive. Being educative and expressive, one is not limited by demarcations of streams of knowledge. Indeed there are demarcations for ease of approach and study in the academic world. However a creative mind seamlessly travels from science to literature to governance or any "subject". For them music could be science, art and commerce. Technical writing could be an expression of art. In reality it was like that before the academic streams came into existence.

Education is not imparted. It is an attitude of receiving / fine tuning into the universe's signals. We were all born in state of education. Breathing, smelling, sensing, feeling, ingesting without any cue. DNA?? Programming??

Yes, indeed, and yet somewhere the function of the DNA ends, the survival pattern of a species, and there is a spontaneous expansion of life.

Drop all the academic conditioning and see the unfolding of life in it’s purity. And purity is simple. It is basic. In it’s simplicity life manifests it’s true potential.

Academies are meant to cater to industries and society, education caters to life. And both need to be in balance.

Being Who I Am

Let me be blunt about it, I cannot be sharp all the time.

To be alert about what i say, how i say. Measure, be cautious of what i am attracting.
i have to be alert, sharp of what? That i am presenting myself presentably to conform to someone?

People say things to you and move on. Making their judgments and observations about you. And guess what, they have not lived your life!

I am left stranded here, with who i am. Wondering what was that about. Is the other person's view of who i am, the person i am? Or is it their notion of me? My friend may be helpful in letting me know where i went wrong. But even my friend has not lived my life. I am not just that moment of someone's judgment of who i am, i am sum total of everything i have been through up till that moment. And they haven't been a part of the sum total. My decisions, my choices in the times i made them. It is convergence of so many events in my life. My thought process shaped by a history, that is still embedded in me. My nature still inside a shell which has been shaped by the hands of circumstances. I am already cautious, how much more could be, restricting myself from living wholly and completely without a sign of shame or regret for how i am. Rather a celebration of being me, as i am.

Your expectation of how i need to be more careful, choosy, cautious and sharp. Because in my Me-ness, i am vulnerable, unprotected and accessible to the predators. But the River must flow. I am River, i am vulnerable, my softness is my strength. My vulnerability my nature. My acceptance of my Me-ness is my confidence and language of expression.

Sharp is so "sharp". It is not soft, like i am. It is not smooth and fluid , like me. I am a river, i flow. I flow down the mountain, around it, in the valleys, through forests, past beautiful lives all around me. Playing with the wind, reflecting the sky and hugging the earth. I bury into the hardness of earth, i caress it's solidness and bring it to life. I am a blunt movement harmonizing with the nature's rhythm. I fall sharply at times down from the clouds as rain and mountainsides like a waterfall. I rise with the heat of the fire to the sky in utmost softness and joy. I am carried by the winds over various terrains. Sometimes turbulent, sometimes gentle drift.
I am tenacious enough to break through a solid rock, over centuries. I am willing to wait. I love the sharpness of my soft nature.
I build a hard sharp shell to protect my soft real me. I fill up the hard space and take it's form and i am yet the soft me. i am content.
Water i am, i am blunt, i am soft and feel at home on the Earth. Fire makes me break my limits, breeze is my vehicle. I am just water, voiceless, colorless and formless soft existence.
With earth i make forms of life's beauty and use. With air i snow to give rest to tired souls and bring rain to nurture life. With fire i make the clouds. With sky i float and in its light make colors of beautiful rainbow and clouds.
Let me be blunt about it, i cannot be sharp all the time.

05-02 2019 - Don't Forgive Don't Forget

Today 05-02- 2020

Celebrating this day, when i broke free clean on 05-02-1019.

That morning was of mental and emotional turbulence. A day that would seal my fate. I had to be truthful and stand for it. Say "No i can't marry you." Screaming in my head and heart "i don't trust you. I fear i am ruining my life. I am condemning myself to a life of blackmail, threats and abuse at all levels." But I dare not articulate my thoughts.

No drama, no looking-back. Re-claiming my life. I reflect on this day, what it meant for me and what was it's outcome.

It was difficult to acknowledge that things won't turn out to be as i wished for. There was in-authenticity on both side of the world. I need to talk about me only. I was creating a false sense of security, family and love, where none existed. It was difficult to accept that my notion of goodness is not universal. My righteousness was insignificant in front of reality.

What i had to give up was a thought that old associations are safe, that i could manipulate and maneuver by power of old association. I had to give up, my position as a good human being, a suffering nanny, mammy, fammy.

I did put everything on stake. Lost a lot of money, time, waning youth and energy. However for all that i was none the better. What I saw in front of me were monsters of shameless being-ness. They were perfect, complete and whole in their Being. They were expressed loud and clear. They were powerful and solid in their world. It was me who felt, things were not correct and needs to get better. Parents need to love and nurture their children's mental and emotional health. If not financial. Children need to be forgiving and supportive of their parents. Even as they are younger, they could probably bring peace and love in their parent's life. The parents of parents, needed to be forgiving, caring and guiding in their role. But, that was stupid of me. Life was great for them.  It may not have been my reality, but for them it was correct. The violence, anger, abuse and vengeance were my perception.

I was about to cheat myself to confirm to their reality. Give up mine. Give up my life-education. For what? When I did not even believe that this person or family meant to accept or love me for who I really am. I felt, like a scapegoat.  In a relation full of abuse among the closest, full of abusive language and behavior, I was expecting to create a garden of love. I was just subduing and suppressing my own expression. I had to hide behind a behavior and attitude which was acceptable and "forgivable" by them. I never spoke clearly. When I read all I had written in those days, they were cryptic, garbled and muddled. I expressed myself on social media with confusing sentences and words. Spoke lies and deceitful praises to a non-existent relation, just to keep them happy.

Living with a mentally disturbed person is challenging. But living with an intelligent and disturbed person is like being on a constant tight rope walk over a river full of crocodiles.

And then i let go.

I fell among the crocodiles and I realized...... there were no crocodiles around me! They were there, but were at a distance and manageable. I was more than capable of a lot more than I allowed myself to believe in. I was safe, without the sense of security, I had made myself believe had existed. Indeed, there were dangers around me. But these dangers were not killing my spirit. They kept me alert, creative and evolving, growing and becoming stronger. In fact, I learnt to co-exist and tame some of them. I learnt to manage myself and thrive, in the alone world of a woman, in a man's world. I learnt to manage my own demons and darkness as well. Make my disadvantages, the advantage.

I was free, alive and happy.

I was peaceful and quite.

Indulging in activities I had avoided, like attending cultural activities.

Life is not a bed of roses.

That day and today, not that I never felt sad or slipped into self-pity many times. I did get into bouts of anger and a feeling of regret at having made such a screwed up decision. And giving so much of me to a relation headed nowhere. I left and nothing mattered.  I was promptly replaced.  Life went on beautifully and sweet as ever for them.  However friends, family and the strength of spirit from Yoga practices, by grace of Guru kept me balanced and pulled me out of stepping back into old ways of being. I had/have to keep snatching myself from the dark forces of depression, jealousy, jubilant at their downfall, from cursing them and stay focused on the positive, creative and beautiful outcome. I am healthier, stronger and free to express without the notion of shame.

Events that followed on the other side, did validate my decision.

Of the many realization, one clear one is: Don't Forgive, Don't Forget!

What is the need to do so?

Forgive whom, for what.. who am i? Stop being oh-so-glorious, self important and conceited.

While it is important that we learn from the past and learn to let go, however at the same time, let it also not rule the moment. In the business of forgive and forget,  self or others,  one shouldn't forget the intent of the act: to liberate oneself. No guilt. Just pure freedom and peace with time as a whole. Greet every moment with a smile. Celebrate!

There were events that happened, there were choices i had made. The choices had their outcomes. Why then is there a villain or a hero. Whatever the choices, it was in that moment. And the bargain is, one learns and gets wiser. 

There is no need to forgive. There is no need to forget. Be more generous to myself in congratulating myself for living and doing great job at living a life of beauty and expression. Let me also acknowledge all those who made it happen. Each and everyone.

The past "mistakes". Fuck it, Give a fuck to what was and feel free. Breathe and be alive fully to the infinite possibilities in the moment. Be Alive. Every moment is pregnant with life.

I have a long way to go. There is no perfection. There are just creative actions that I could choose from.

I say You say

This one was written Dec 1st 2015

Again a pick from my FB page "Catching Dreamz"

Art and Words by me

I say Love you say pain

i say you, you say name

i say new you say shame

i say life you say it's a toil

i would live my life all over again

And still let love color my brain 

i say joy you say work 

i say music you say words 

i say together you the relation 

i say flow you say we'll work it out 

and ... 

love is lived in the joyful musical strains 

when together we flowed in the rain 

i say soul you don't pray 

i say play you made the rules 

i say quiet your words filled it up 

i say give you gathered it all 

and oh there our spirits drift up and away 

in the quiet dark sky you spangle my name 

It is love, all the same 

just love, what i say you say 

i say you say 

Stroll by the Shore

This was written way back Dec 7 2015

It was on my FB page "Catching Dreamz"

Love it... wonder why i hadn't put it on my blog.

The art and the words are mine.

What is it?
Nothing

Where are we?
some place nice i feel

can we stroll by the shore?
yaaa

d'you think i am crazy
yep


~~IgNomi

Our Thoughts are Creating Us

So... what am i  thinking right now?

How do i feel?

Is my next act, a result of this way of being?

Do I realize, how potentially i am changing my reality... in real time !?

Setting off a train of Being that was started by the seed of  a thought.

Then why don't I visualize something really wonderful. Something remarkable. Something Magnificent.

While i was walking to my class this morning. The cool winter air soothing me. I looked straight ahead and said. I feel so beautiful, so good, i feel confident, intelligent, creative, caring, loving and resplendent.

Just thinking that way started opening up possibilities. Everything around just transformed it's potential.

Well... not all of one's thought is self driven. Sometimes it is also alignment of streams of consciousness that attracts and gives force to a vision. One needs to snap the moment, rabbit hole into the wonderland.
Enjoy the ride !!

Long Journey

this journey seems so long .... so bloody long .....
there are times i thought, this is it. i think i deserve to settle down now.... i start settling in. cozying up, organizing, aligning, feeling at home. And... whoosh... thundering typhoons. I am carrying my shell again.

No i am not blaming anyone. This is the story of my life. Story of my loves and joys... tears and sorrows. They are all mine. My creations. I have been writing this story since long.. this very very long story with no end.

Where have i come from, where i am and where in the name of sweet heavens will i ever be ... I don't really know.
All i know is this long journey, i have undertaken, to some place i need to go. Someone to meet, a soul to reach.
A dream to reach... rest this weary heart of mine.